"This page features pictures of adults in sexual situations with kitchen appliances. If you are under the age of 87 (142 in Estonia, Khazakstan, Kyrgyzstan, Australia and the US states of Utah and Texas) and or are offended by pictures of rotherham / shirebrook / woodhouse / terrace road slags with kitchen appliances please LEAVE NOW. The author takes no responsibility for genital burns caused by attempts to reproduce the acts shown here."
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"Bulmers, makers of Strongbow, have sent consignments of the new Aeromats to student bars at [...] University College London to test them before it considers whether to distribute them elsewhere."